I'm thankful to be home and cozy and safe ...

after a 300-mile adventure today with snow and sleet and beautiful hoarfrost and huge trucks barreling down the highway and stops to see my ex and pick up the last of my crap that had been lingering in Chicago and buy some shoes and celebrate the staying-awake properties of my new meds (yay, lithium!) and all the while sharing the day with both my parents, who remain my stalwart supporters and I'm so grateful for them.

Not to belabor the fact that *I Have Bipolar Disorder* ...

but my depressive crashes are usually marked by an odd compulsion to grunt repeatedly like a damn circus freak. Usually I produce just a simple beat—it's not catchy and you can't even dance to it—but sometimes I get caught up in an endless cycle of some snippet of a song, making my grunting doubly embarrassing. Or at least frustrating. The songs can come from anywhere—usually they're show tunes, natch—but tonight I can't get that damn dum da-DUM baseline from the theme to CSI out of my head … or out of my grunt cycle. 

Bipolar disorder is NOT for the weak. Or the unrhythmic.

I'm thankful for family and friends who believe in me fiercely, even when I don't

I'm thankful for new opportunities to participate and stretch and thrive. I'm thankful for productive dance rehearsals and honest sweats and meds that seem to work better each day and 5 Hour Energy when they need a boost. I'm thankful my mom cries when I have a good day and my dad hugs me freely, which we never seemed to do enough in the past. I'm thankful I have a safety net in my family when so many others with illnesses like bipolar depression don't. And right now I'm this close to being thankful for a deep deep sleep after an awesome day.