Amantadine day 2

I was noticeably more light-headed all day, but in a slightly loopy way and thankfully not a stand-up-and-black-out way like I was last night.

My ears have been screaming EEEEEEEEE! at me all day. Seriously. EEEEEEEEEE!

I had two video calls at work where I could see in real time how much I was fidgeting and rocking and twitching.

 
It’s breathtakingly exhausting spending all my energy trying to hold myself still, so I was very glad to climb under a blanket and a cat after work and nap on the couch (see photo).

Amantadine isn’t a psych drug, which would usually require me to endure weird (or uncomfortable or downright miserable) side effects for a few weeks while I waited for its efficacy to manifest or not manifest itself. So I’m in uncharted territory here as far as what to expect and how long to tolerate it before I decide whether or not the drug is doing its intended job.

 
Originally an antiviral used to prevent Influenza A, Amantadine is now primarily an antidyskinetic used to help control the palsies and involuntarily movements of Parkinson’s disease and my close personal friend tardive dyskinesia.

 
The only other tremor-control drug I’ve tried is the anticonvulsant Gabapentin, which didn’t seem to do anything for me except on the morning when I accidentally took two doses and literally felt like my heart was stopping and my eyes were crossing so hard that my optic muscles might rupture. So, yeah. I immediately started weaning myself off of THAT trainwreck-in-waiting.

 
If I were to judge Amantadine after just these two days I’d say it’s an abject failure as a tremor suppresant because I’m exponentially more twitchy and tremory. My increased orthostatic hypotension (my tendency to experience blackouts or near-blackouts when I stand up) is pretty alarming to me. And I disconcertingly need to monitor myself for a potential skin rash called Livedo Reticularis, which my neurologist and I both agree would be a fun, indeterminately ethnic drag name but that he warned me is also a very dangerous development potentially worthy of a trip to the ER.

So for now I sit (and twitch and rock and tremor) and wait. I think I’ll give it a week before I decide if these side effects are worth enduring—or if I even think the drug is working. I’ve lived with and learned how to manage tardive dyskinesia for 15+ years, so I’m in a devil-you-know/devil-you-don’t holding pattern until I decide which devil to live with (spoiler alert: I’ll probably pick the one with the cutest butt).

In the mean time, I have a kitty to snuggle up with …